What the hell?
by Lucy.K.xP
Summary: Crack fic. includes inside jokes from mangafox and a lot of crack pairing.


**This is a crack fic with a lot of crack pairings and inside joke from Mangafox.**

Lucy was lying on her bed, she couldn't sleep she was to excited about tomorrow. Natsu had arranged a date, with Zeref and her at Hargeon Port, she was so excited to meet him. She already heard from Elfman and Evergreen that he is very hot and cute. He was exactly her type.

Natsu meanwhile was following or better said stalking Sting, who he was madly in love with. He fell in love with him when he was fighting against him in the Grand Magic tournaments. Since then Natsu couldn't get Sting out of his mind. But there was one small problem, Sting was dating Rogue. Natsu clenched his fits when he saw them kissing. Sting and Rogue didn't knew that the pink dragonslayer was planning something terrible. Suddenly Natsu noticed Max walking into a Motel with a broom in his hands, Natsu decided to follow them, he peeked through the window, with wide eyes and his jaw open he watched as Max and Broom had a big adventure. 'Fairy tail will soon have 30 little brooms running around' thought Natsu and returned to stalking his love Sting.

The next day, a young black mage was waiting nervous at Hargeon Port for his date to arrive. It was his first date with a girl, the night before he couldn't close an eye because he was so nervous. His heart was beating at the speed of light, it was like a ticking time bomb.

"Em...are you Zeref?" Zeref turned around, his eyes widened, he never saw someone as beautiful as her, he blushed and nodded. The girl in front of him smiled.

"I am Lucy. Nice to meet you." both of them stared at each other for a long time until Lucy grabbed his hand and dragged him into a small restaurant. At the same time Jellal was trying to hide the fact that he was pregnant with the child of none other than Kagura. He still remember well how it happened, it was after the fight Kagura had with Yukino. She had kidnapped him and imprisoned him in her bedroom, she visited him every night to eat his ravioli. She let him go after the fifth tournament day. Jellal couldn't bring himself to tell Lyon that someone beside him ate his ravioli, Lyon would never forgive him. Jellal opened the door to his apartment, he didn't notice a person hiding behind the door.

"Welcome home Jellal" Jellal froze and turned around.

"Wh-" he wasn't able to finish his sentence, the person behind him had already sliced him directly into the stomach. Jellal fell on the ground, blood flowing out of his stomach, his face was pale and he could barely still breath.

"W-why Erza?..." Jellal let out his last breath. The person who stabbed him was none other than Erza. She smirked and walked out of the room.

"Now, only two left" she said. Natsu watched as Erza left Jellal apartment, he smiled seeing that his plan was a success, now he only needed to lay back and to enjoy the show.

Lucy jumped on her bed, she was so happy, she never had such a beautiful date before, Zeref had even bought her a bouquet flowers. She blushed and hugged her pillow and imagined her next date with Zeref, but she was disturbed by door knocking. She stood up and opened the door, she expected it to be Natsu or someone else from the guilt but to her surprise, it was Mavis and Luxus who where standing in front of her door.

"Master Mavis! Luxus? What are you doing here?"

"I am sorry Lucy" said Mavis, and entered her house.

"But Zeref belongs to me and...Luxus" Luxus stood now in front of Lucy, who was still confused by what was happening.

"Goodbye Lucy" said Luxus and Lucy's world went black, she never thought that she would die like this, killed by her own nakama.

"We should bury her somewhere" suggested Luxus, Mavis nodded. They took her dead body and thrown it into the river. Her dead body sank down to the bottom of the river.

"I said to bury her not to throw her into the river but who cares as long as Zeref's ravioli belongs to us" Mavis smiled and both of them vanished leaving behind some white glitter. At the same moment Zeref felt a huge pain in his heart, he never had felt it before. He took a small picture out of his pocket on it was him and Lucy. 'I want to see you soon again...Lucy'

Sting and Rogue were enjoying their romantic dinner in Fiores most famous restaurant, they don't know that while they were having fun people had gone mad and had started to kill each other.

"And what would the two young man like to have for dessert?" asked the scarlet haired waitress. Sting laid the menu cart down and looked up to the waitress.

"We will take two chocolate cakes" the waitress nodded ad disappeared into the kitchen. A pink haired dragonslayer was watching them with a big grin on his face from a safe distance.

"Here is your order" the waitress served them their order.

"We ordered two chocolate cake's not one chocolate and one strawberry cak-" he gulped when he saw the frightening look on the scarlet haired waitress.

"Did you say something?"

"N-no!"replied both dragonslayers.

"Good! Eat now!" ordered them the waitress. Sting was about to eat his strawberry cake when a certain Dragonslayer jumped on the table.

"Nooo! You can't eat that!"

"Natsu! What the fuck are you doing here? And what do you mean I can't eat that"

"The cake is poisoned!" said Natsu and kicked the plate with the cake on it off the table.

"Why the hell do you think it's poisoned?" asked him Sting annoyed.

"Cause I poisoned it! But Erza messed up with the order and instead of giving it to Rogue she gave the poisoned cake to yo-"

"Natsu..." Natsu felt a murderous aura from behind him, Rogue was looking at him with a look that frighten even Erza. Rogue drew his sword and sliced Natsu. Natsu saw his life passing in front of his eyes. Natsu's dead body fell off the table on the ground.

"Now what was I saying before that insect appeared?" Rogue sat down again and continued eating like nothing happened. Sting sweat dropped but he didn't had time to reply because a huge black magic sphere devoured whole Fiore, apparently Zeref found out that Lucy died and lost his mind and is going on a rampage now. Mavis was watching as Fiore gets destroy-

Lucy looked down on the last page of her novel, without waisting a second she burned the whole novel she had spent a whole week to write and threw it away.

"That's it, I never accept request again." she said and went to bed. Before she fell asleep she murmured something "It's..all...Sting's fault"

**Lol I can't believe I wrote something like that x'D**

**And in the end it was all a story Lucy wrote.**


End file.
